Lymphatic Catatonia

You know, I really cannot understand why you want to do that to yourself, because there’s no need to. Sure I haven’t been paying attention you much lately because something hit me right across the face; the sad case of common realism.

You know I sit out my afternoons just staring to total nothingness and meaninglessness until I’ve drowned all the euphoria and misery that’s left in me. Maybe that’s why you claim you want to end up in hospital, go ahead, like I said, that’s not going to change anything.

I’m moving out of Singapore, and it’s final. This, I can’t stop.

Out of all honesty, I’m sorry I’ve been short-tempered as of late, you may not have noticed, I’ve run into the occasional dilemmas that any Tom, Dick, and Harry would collate.

You ask me, why does Joy Molina seem more significant to me than you, I’ll tell you why, because you’ve become pessimistic; the glass is half empty.

Maybe I had too great an expectation of you to digest the movies, for some sickening reason, I left out individualism, maybe because I felt we had so much in common, we were merely just a semi-detached ego-agenda.

You know me, I’m a pseudo-realistic person, I find comfort in all levels of reality and none. Like a child wandering through the isles of every story told.

You take it so hard on yourself, you’ve become very demanding, demanding so much of my attention. If you think getting yourself hurt will make the ones around you care more, think again, the universe is perplexed, it’s simply complicated, so complicated in fact, our ancestors used the idea of god to answer every question.

If every instant lay at the hand of god, then every wrong would be made right with a simple apology, then again, the universe is complicated. If everything were so simple, then where would adventure and verbosity (and such) lie?

If everything were so simple, then why live?

If everything were so simple, everything would be what I’d like to call paperversity the combination of the words paper and universe: where everything is one-dimensional and equal and leveled to a point of pure boredom.

You know, sometimes I wonder if you ever think about how you ended up with a guy like me, a person who never seems to care about anything, sometimes I feel that that’s the only thing about me you have to hate and appreciate.

I love you, something happened instead of the occasional ‘nothing’. And if you don’t see that, well, I guess we’re all individual, collectively.

Face it, I’m your roller coaster ride, not your usual lumbering forage through just single-sided emotions. I feel that a perfect relationship is a bullshit one, a what I’d like to call a relationshit.

As I was saying, if you want to end up in hospital, then it would just make me feel sad for you, not because you are injured (that can be cured over time) but sad because you have to drive yourself for no reason, then again, that would be something I’d really look up to, I bet you were hoping for that.

Yunwei, I treat you as a lover, a friend and an enemy.

Why?

I don’t know yet.

someone once told me, that the lyrics of this song suited me well:

Kris Kristofferson - He's A Pilgrim

See him wasted on the sidewalk in his jacket and his jeans
Wearing yesterdays misfortune like a smile
Once he had a future full of money, love and dreams
Which he'd spend like they were going out of style

And he keeps right on a changin' for the better or the worse
Searchin' for a shrine he has never found
Never known' if believin' is a blessin' or a curse
Or if the going up was worth the comin' down

(Chorus)
He's a poet, he's a picker, he's a prophet, he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction
Taking every wrong direction on his lonely way back home

He has tasted good and evil, in your bedrooms and your bars
And he's traded-in tomorrow for today
Running from his devils Lord, reachin' for the stars
Loosin' all his love along the way

But if this world keeps right on turnin' for the better or the worse
And all he ever gets is older and around
From the rockin' of the cradle to the rollin' of the hearse
The goin' up was worth the comin' down

(chorus)
He's a poet, he's a picker, he's a prophet, he's a pusher
He a pilgrim and a preacher and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction
Taking every wrong direction on his lonely way back home
There's been a lot of wrong directions on that lonely way back home.

__________________________________________________________

Strange thing, I think it’s relative to me as well, heh.

You need time to sort things out and time to relax, go have fun, do what it means to have fun, people say live for the moment, I say, do as they say, it’s quite a practice no one has come about to do quite yet, well not many, to say the least.

Heath Ledger’s role as The Joker from the 2008 movie The Dark Knight is commercially famous for the line: Why so serious?

I’d rather say, why so delirious?  Or curious? Or furious? Or precarious? Or mysterious?

But I guess all we need now is a break (not a break-up), maybe we moved too fast, like every fast song, there has to be a little breakdown (not the chuggy hardcore type) but just a formal breakdown to pace things. And yeah, take all of this as friction, cause nothing physical is possible without it.

I heart you.

Graphic Novel Project: Mr sExit

A narcoleptic superhero whose ability lies in his abnormal testicular elephantitis which he can control the size of as he pleases.

His mode of attack is to subdue his opponent and blast them into microscopic molecular bits by overflowing them with semen, this of course requires the need for him to rape his enemies.

His weakness, however, lies in his narcolepsy, of which, he enters a instantaneous somalence when put under sudden surprise or slight laughter, this also leads to his inability to tell the difference between reality and the surrealistic existence he experiences during REM, causing time lapses and memory corrosion, his constant defeat to villians and his anomalous personality which he tries to always suppress laughter.

Scrotal Divergence

I’m breaking my life down in neo-psychopathological disorder. Degenerating and defecting into pure pseudo-existential, surrealistic living. Who needs choices, reasons, responsibilities when you’ve got all your life to live. I mean, for fuck sake man, for once in your fucking life, rub salt in the wound, take the plunge, go berserk, do whatever it takes to be totally offset and divorced from the whole idea of realism.

Fuck the world, fuck it.

Just let the fuck go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smoke weed, vapourise it, eat it, drink it, whatever, get high, and explore worlds you never dreamed existed but you knew existed for so very long. That pseudo-existence in your somatic conscious  wants you to come and play. ‘It’s alright, let the baby play with the shotgun’

Tell me, when was the last time you walked out of the house not knowing where to go? I do that all the time, especially between 2-4 in the morning, when I can see nobody around, and when I feel that all is dead.

I want to quit day-to-day living, is that possible? To be discharged from the confines of life? Of existence? Because I’m sick of this world, when can I move onto the next one? It’s pointless, and the government is doing nothing about it.

Well looks like the government wants to waste their time with petty issues like world peace and the recession, I mean, I don’t give a flying fuck, I’ve got issues to settle.

The thing about the Joker…

Personally, the most entertaining Batman remains Batman the Movie (1966), and of course the television series of the same time-period, now that’s hilarious fun! But when you get tired of the laughs there's the 2008 film The Dark Knight for nihilistic mention. Dark Knight makes full use of the film noir elements of contemporary Batman to make a dark and intense action flick where the villain, the Joker, adopts aspects of nihilism to act as an interesting foil against the quasi-hero of Batman. Although the Joker is portrayed as a criminal psychotic, by the second half of the lengthy film he begins to explain his motivations and indeed much of the Joker’s efforts are an attempt to show how foolish authorities are to try and control every aspect of society, going so far as to portray himself as an agent of chaos; “You know, the thing about chaos? It’s fair.” At another point the Joker sets fire to a mountain of the mafia's money saying, “It’s not about money, it’s about sending a message: everything burns.” The Joker points out that the way people behave under duress is often radically different than under typical circumstances, that civilization is composed of tenuous and often illusionary elements that only serve to mask true human nature. Of course the overall presentation could easily be considered anti-nihilist because the Joker’s character is intended as an emblem to be reviled, nevertheless this fictional film clearly portrays how a ‘madman’ can shatter illusions and radically reorder popular assumptions.

It’s not about how “emotionless” or “charismatic” he is, the Joker, he’s got it all good: Everything is worthless, and life itself and existence entirely is worth losing, so yeah, in all his influenza, “why so serious”; honestly, the only reason we’re afraid to die is because we take life too seriously.  So yeah, ‘Why so Serious?’

Versatile Vivisection

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Greatest movie intro ever, from the movie adaptation of Alan Moore’s (same guy who wrote Swampthing, watchmen etc) V for Vendetta.