Idiosyncratic

I bought cigars, and it reminded me of Freud, Sigmund Freud that is.

Well there is a phrase accredited to him, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar…”

But on no account has he been ‘truly’ witnessed to have said it.

But it’s just a saying of how you should sometimes take things for their face value and delving into the matter doesn’t really matter.

But anyway, on my previous posts, I’ve been “disproving” a lot of things that are real, today, I’m going into a deeper topic, instead of its face value (because we all know how I treat value don’t we now?)

Well, I, my esteemed(and not so important) readers, am going to disprove reality.

Like how I would translate from Bakunin: the matter is only absurd, and inexplicable, because only the absurd admits of no explanation.

But here we have a meaning to ‘reality’(taken from dictionary.com); the state or quality of being real, resemblance to what is real.

Philosophy:

a.
something that exists independently of ideas concerning it.

b.
something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive.

Let’s start with the first one, ‘the state or quality of being real’: the state and quality of something being real suggests that it is material and not idealistic, thus it is a fact that something to be material exists via metaphysical standards, but did you remember what I said about the scientific method?

-- The scientific method is the relationship of theories and proof; here, theory, being scientific theory, which is evidence of something being possible, therefore we have proof, but it is clearly stating that it functions on concepts that we accredit to, and tentatively subject it to. Therefore it is not real, because it is not, necessarily material.

So metaphysically, there are 3 rocks but that quantifies the the numerical content that we accredit it to, it is an ideological concept that is basically, the idea of the presence of the 3 rocks also accredits the idea of matter, something that takes space up, but then again, a lot of other things that are ideological that takes space up, such as computerized memory storage, which can only function and exist within the computer or a similar material device, then again, that would make it virtual reality.

So generally, the first point does not define the totality of what reality is.

Take for example a television: you can see the image, but you know for certain that the image depicted is not really in front of you, but it is there, thus making it ideological and by standards, somewhat virtually illusionary.

Now onto the second point, ‘the resemblance of to what is real: all I need to point out here is the word ‘resemblance’; not clearly a validated explanation to me.

And on the philosophical grounds, reality is something that exists independently with ideas concerning it, then if there is a conceptual intake as to what reality is, wouldn’t it make it more ideological than material, which clearly is a contradictive point of view.

And finally, ‘something that exists independently of all other things and from which all other things derive’: so where do things derive from?

-- Concepts right? The ideological form of what we perceive to be real.

Which brings me to my conclusion, if reality is perceived concepts, making it conceded ideologies, such as a man who believes in Christ, would never usually think of the idea of evolution, and vice versa, or to be more exact, a person who believes that a god created the world would find it hard to determine that the world is billions of years of cosmic activity, which would only drag him to another level of reality to which others, who oppose the idea would claim is redundant and illusionary.

So then my endeared readers, reality is then truly undefined and immaterial, thus it is not objective and thus non-existent.

So it will be a generally invalid argument and debate as to what reality truly is. I think we’d have to define it ourselves, but if we all cannot agree on a standard, then is reality truly real then?

The answer is no, no matter how many things we agree on, it will only be validated if something is truly agreed on.

Some of you may try to differ from me, then again, there is no consistency, so where is the argument?

-Reality does not mean anything, I do not believe in it, and will not be as gullible and arrogant and ignorant as to say what objective it truly is.

So people, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but well sometimes, a cigar is not just a cigar.

Solipsism

Yes, that is right, I’m practically a monolithic solipsistic jerk, and all of you are not real.

Truth, my readers, are not real.

You are not real, not real, not real….

I am not afraid. Put me in my grave.

This mind, is the only thing to me that exists, with everything in it.

This is my great big answer to everything in the world- fuck it.

Not ‘FUCK IT!’

But a simple ‘fuck it…’ annunciated and whispered and left lingering on the last syllable.

You know why truth isn’t real? Because truth is the relationship between concepts and reality, so it’s not real.

You know why science isn’t real? Because it’s the relationship of theories and proof.

And you know why numbers aren’t real? Not just because they don’t float around, but it is also the accreditation of applied values that, like truth, and scientific method, are not subjective.

But there is no morality, common ethics, values, the current universal preferable behavior and natural behavior seem more animalistic each passing day.

Money’s taking over the world; the one vast and immane, holistic system of systems.

So the world’s getting capitalistic, communism has been long gone(why!), Marxism can be less credible(sadly), property is the idols and of course the rest are just sick, sick, dying giants in the last passing fads of their erratic phases.

This is the new religion, the new sex, your faith, my faith, the alpha and omega(or beta), your natural order, your primal force of nature, your tidal gravity, your tectonic(and most certainly bowel) movements, our unconditional loving father from above; money.

So this is my answer to everything, fuck it…

Bent Dildo

Coming from a bourgeois state of aristocracy, I am well attuned to the fundamentals and the epicenters of the ecumenical, cosmopolite inertias that define the current states and differences of class.

To me, I do not see class, or race, or ethnicity, or cultural backgrounds, or the schools of thought(or religion, if I may gladly include) to be the essence, the pathologic, the ebb and flow, the intrinsic balance and the individual stature in our subterranean natural of dwellings and the justification of our ignorant, arrogant and obviously fearful society based on multitudes of illusions and illusions of just pure unsophisticated, uncivilized, unthinking, inanimate, “modernized”, primitive natural orders of things today.

Seriously people, that is just a mere weakness of our epic struggles in the pursuit of individuality in the confirmative, commercialistic, capitalistic, consumerist endeavours of just trends and styles, and fads, fashions and definitive determinations, and all that for what?

--To be somebody?

Yes, to be somebody indeed, by forcing something down one orifice and forcing it out the other.

The ecological balance? --There are no nations. There are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There are no third worlds. There is no West. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multi-national dominion of dollars. Petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars, Reichmarks, Yen, Rubles, Pounds, and Shekels. It is the international system of currency which determines the totality of life on this planet. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of things today!

The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world is a business.

Money, money, money; that’s all we ever have and that’s all we ever will be.

And all I will be doing is- fuck the imperialistic dogma that circulates our ubiquitous, unreliable infrastructural menagerie of a society.

That walks in shame and ignorance in the truth in front of them, as though it were an illusion that is astoundingly absent from our world.

AND WE DARE CHALLENGE THE RELIABILITY OF THOUGHT(and science) WITH OUR RELENTLESS PURSUIT FOR A FICTIONAL CHARACTER OF A GOD.

God is just the divine idea that is ever present and ever wakening, the bible is just a collection of the municipal, primitive manifestations of ancient human wisdom and imagination.

The absurdity of it has not only defined how weak we are in our liberties and rebellions, our thoughts and sciences, and our human animality.

I think that the questioning and the idiocracy towards our indigenity that belongs to two, ready made, all knowing creatures in a whimsical, illusionary garden, based on primitive account and invalid evidence.

It has always been the epinephrine of our less-credible beliefs.

My readers, I am undefined.

Beyond what a god could ever say, or give; beyond what a society will be based on.

My readers, I am just too sick, too sick to see society so fucked up.

Just a bit too fucking crazy.

Ignore this video, ignore all of it.

Random Ranting Part 2

This video was banned by YouTube!!! ha-ha!

Anyway, it's just an impromptu, unscripted, unplanned, totally spontaneous project suggested by Chicks!

So I'll do a video that will cover and rectify all the stuff I screwed up on if I'm not too lazy.

Our parenting contradictions.

We can very easily see how parents in other cultures simply repeat
cultural norms to their children as if those cultural norms were objective truth.

Japanese parents teach their children obedience and filial piety; Catholic parents teach their children to drink the blood of their god; Muslim parents teach their children that a man who married a six-year old girl – and consummated that marriage when she was nine – is the paragon of moral virtue; Western parents teach their children that democracy is the highest ideal; North Korean parents teach their children that the dictator who rules their lives is a sort of secular deity who loves them.

The list goes on and on. Virtually every parent in the world believes that she is teaching her child the truth, when she is merely inflicting what may be politely called cultural mythologies on her child.

We lie to our children, all the while telling them that lying is wrong.
We command our children to think for themselves, all the while
repeating the most prejudicial absurdities as if they were objective facts.

We tell our children to be good, but we have no idea what goodness
really is. We tell our children that conformity is wrong (“If everyone jumped off the Empire State building, would you jump too?”) but at the same time, we are complete slaves to the historical inertia of prior prejudices.

For instance, we might tell a child that stealing is wrong because:
1. We are embarrassed at our child’s actions.
2. We are afraid of being judged a poor parent.
3. We are afraid that our child’s theft will be discovered.
4. We are simply repeating what was told to us.
5. We enjoy humiliating our child.
6. Correcting our child on “ethics” makes us feel morally superior.
7. We want our child to avoid behavior that we were punished for
as children.
... and so on

Integrity can be defined as consistency between reality, ideas and
behavior.

Consistency with reality is not telling a child that daddy is
“sick” when he is in fact drunk. Consistency with behavior is not
slapping a child for hitting another child. The value of this kind of
integrity is also well understood by many, even if imperfectly practiced, and we will not deal with it much here either.

It is consistency with ideas that causes the most problems for families – and the most long-term suffering for children throughout their lives.

When you were a child, you were told over and over that certain actions were either good or bad. Telling the truth was good; stealing was bad.

Hitting your brother was bad; helping your grandmother was good.
Being on time was good; failing to complete chores was bad.

Implicit in all these instructions – moral instructions – was the premise that your parents knew what was right and what was wrong; what was good, and what was bad.

Do you think that was really true?

Do you think that your parents knew what was right and wrong when you were a child?

When we tell a child that something is wrong – not just incorrect, but
morally wrong – there are really only two possibilities. The first is that we actually know what is right and wrong in general, and we are applying our universal knowledge of right and wrong to a specific action committed by the child.

This is how it is always portrayed to the child. It is almost always the
most dangerous lie in the world.

The second possibility is that we are telling our child that his actions are “wrong” for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with morality whatsoever.

Assuming they are not terrified, most children, on first receiving moral instructions, will generally respond by asking “why?” Why is stealing wrong? Why is lying wrong? Why is bullying wrong? Why is hitting wrong?

These are all perfectly valid questions, akin to asking why the sky is blue.

The problem arises in the fact that parents have no rational answers, but endlessly pretend that they do.
When a child asks us why something is wrong, we are put in a terrible bind. If we say that we do not know why lying is universally wrong, we believe we will lose our moral authority in the eyes of our children. If we say that we do know why lying is wrong, then we retain our moral authority, but only by lying to our children.

Since the fall of religion, we have lost our way in terms of ethics. As a nihilist, I do not mourn the loss of the illusions of gods and devils, but I am alarmed at the fact that we have not yet admitted that the fall of religion has not provided us an objective and rational moral compass.

By failing to admit to the fact that we do not know what we are doing ethically, we are perpetrating a grave moral error on our children.

Basically, we are lying to them about being good.

We tell them that certain things they do are right or wrong – yet we do not tell them that we do not know why those things are right or wrong.

If our child asks us why lying is wrong, we can say that it causes people pain – but so does dentistry – or we can say “you don’t like it when someone lies to you” – which would be an incentive to not get caught, not to refrain from lying – and so on. Every answer we come up with leads to more questions and inconsistencies. What do we do then?

Why, then, we must bully them.

This does not mean hitting them or yelling at them – though sadly all too often this is the case – because as parents we have a near-infinity of passive-aggressive tactics such as sighing, acting exasperated, changing the subject, offering them a cookie, taking them for a walk, claiming to be “too busy,” distracting or rejecting them in a million and one ways.

These kinds of innocent questions about morality represent a kind of
horror for parents. As parents, we must retain our moral authority over our children – but as citizens of modernity, we have no rational basis for that moral authority. Thus we are forced to lie to our children about being good, and about our knowledge of goodness, which transforms virtue from a rational discipline into a fearful fairy tale.

In the past, when religious mythology was dominant, when children
asked “Where does the world come from?” parents could reply that God made it. Despite the superstitious ignorance of those who even now make the same claim, most modern parents provide the scientific and rational explanation of where the world came from, or at least send their children to the Web, an encyclopedia, or the library.

There was a time, though, when the question of where the world came from was very difficult to answer. When religious explanations were becoming less and less credible, but scientific explanations had not become completely established, parents had to say – if they wanted to speak with integrity – “I don’t know where the world came from.”

By openly expressing their lack of certainty, parents not only acted with honesty and integrity, but also stimulated their children to pursue a truth that was admittedly absent from their world.

Alas, we suffer similar difficulties today, but about a far more important topic. The religious basis for ethics has fallen away from us, and we lack any credible or accepted theory to replace it. For a time, patriotism and allegiance to culture had some power to convince children that their elders knew something objective about ethics, but as government and military corruption have become increasingly evident, allegiance to a country, a state or a military ethos has become an increasingly fragile basis for ethical absolutes.

Even our cherished theories about the virtues of democracy have come under increasing pressure, as gargantuan governments continue to separate themselves from the wishes of their
citizens and act in a virtual “state of nature.”

Religious explanations of virtue have failed not just because we no
longer believe in God, but also because it is now completely self-evident that when most people refer to “truth,” they are really referring to culture.

Think about a father in a Muslim country. When his child asks him:
“Daddy, what is goodness?” he will generally answer: “To obey Allah,
and obey His Prophet.” Why is that his answer? Is it because he has had direct experience with the Prophet, wrote the holy books himself, and has a deep understanding of morality direct from the original creator? If he had grown up alone on a desert island, would his answer be the same?

Of course not. He is merely repeating what was told to him as a child.

However, there is much more to it than that.

This Muslim father knows that his child is going to have to survive – and hopefully flourish – in a Muslim society. If he tells his child that he does not know what is right and wrong, not only will he lose his moral authority in the eyes of his child, but he will also be setting his child up for endless conflicts with everyone else in his society.
In other words, if everyone else lies to their children, what are the costs – social, romantic, economic and so on – of telling your children the truth?

So is this kind of “lying” considered bad parenting?

Why- to me it certainly is.

Because to me, what should matter most as a parent, is not having my child grow up following in my footsteps; but to create footsteps of his/her footsteps so that other, perhaps not even their children, would be inspired to follow, but unconsciously create those of their own.

The only influence as a parent that I want to take effect on my child is the inspirational-aspirational thinking to follow his own individualistic ideals and beliefs.

I have often been accused of being too harsh on parents. “Parents do
the best they can under difficult circumstances; you cannot judge the
practical instructions of parents according to some abstract and absolute philosophical standard. My parents were not philosophers – they were simply telling me the truth that they believed, that they thought was accurate.”

Impetuous Aphrodite

So I woke up today at the side of the beach, already hung over from the night before, stinking from alcohol, saltwater, vomit(thank you Marissa), and smoke. I was covered in sand and was considerably wet.

My phone got stolen, and initially, all I could have thought of was ‘FUCK!’.

I was wondering why my wallet, my mp3 and all were still there, I mean, why didn't they take it all along with my shoes and my shirt for the perfect humiliation. As though it made any difference.

I sat on the bus without my shirt and my shoes, because I was too lazy to wear them.

Everyone stared at me, and for once, I felt so free, so liberated. So out of society.

If you were in my shoes, well, in my position, cause my shoes weren’t on, you’d probably be cowering at the corner, or be like me, flaunt your antipathy. To be the chandelier of shit in a room full of shit; the highlight, the main event(as I have said on countless occasions as of late.)

I felt I controlled the world, or everyone around me for that matter. Because once people see someone who can represent the skid mark on the underpants of society, they get disgusted, they feel sick to the bone, because they feel morally bad.

They try, and obviously fail to empathize with your situation and your status, they get miserable and get driven to such a suicidal reduction of depression. 

You want to know why?

--Because people are too well off thinking that things are perfect, when they’re not, things are fucked up, people are fucked up and you and I can very well be just as fucked up.

The commercialistic consumerism has marred our view so much, we fail to think, our understanding gets necrotized. And we become sheep, robots, drones, whichever insult you have pertaining to  this subject of society.

For once in my life, I felt the true freedom of a human being, because I am thankful to the person who stole my phone too, so that I can be cut off from society.

It’s my repudiation, my revolt, my exultant radicalism of nihilism and anarchy.

This is my orgy of my radical ideas and feats; the epoch of my revulsion against morality and our intangible, invisible, virtually indestructible chains that bind us ignorance.

“We must act, act perpetually in order to be human … in order to possess real awareness of ourselves.” Mikhail Bakunin. 

Antithesis is bull

When I proclaim my daily revolutions, it shall be my greatest orgy of my humanity and idiocracy. A subterfuge of existentialism which only can depict a greater concept of my homage to delirium. This is my immolation to my alternate reality; a generous intrinsic movement from the collaboration of sickness and poison. I hate to admit to you that certainty does not exist, nor does truth, nor do numbers, nor does value.

To me, the things we make subjective have only placed us in an imprisonment of fear and morality.

Through morality, we have feared to venture and explore, so the proclamation of my daily revolutions (‘whining about my life’ for those of you who need to understand things according to Layman), I have failed to experience and expect a greater understanding of the cynic randomness of the tiny segments in life. This menagerie we are put through, is a delirious episode. A concierge, an usher, a slave rather, to immaculate conformist, corporate, perfectionist desires; that’s what we really are.

But fuck all that already, fuck reality.

Why can’t I create my own reality and my own world and my own things with my own endings. Like Neil Gaiman’s Sandman?

Why? Because we’ve defined reality. It’s blasphemy. 

And if I think of making my own worlds and doing my own things, it will be selfish, and I’ll be called crazy and bullshit like that.

But really, who gives a damn.

Someone told me I’m the minority of the minority, I hate to agree, but I do; I’m the chandelier of shit in a room full of shit; the spotlight; the main event; the super-shit.

I’m a big piece of shit on a big piece of shit, and I’m proud of it!

I hate your morality, I hate your reality, I hate your sanity, I hate everything you say about living ‘happy’ and in ‘harmony’! I hate it, because it’s imprisonment, it’s captivity.

I have to be enslaved to serve your pathetic emotional outbursts, and I am sick of it.

Call it blaspheme, or sedition, or defamation, I don’t give a fuck. Life is meaningless. What pursuits are there left to fulfill when we set the standard of perfection so high and complicated?

This thing we’ve got going on in life is ludicrous. A ridicule of our stupidity.

To Scarlett

25% Tar, 25% Nicotine, 50% THC; now that’s fun!

“So what is love?” she interrogated, her eyes, flat on the base and curved on the top, like rotated D’s, were so crystalline, they seemed welling up.

It took a long time for me to look away and say, “it’s a sharp pain; the shard of glass being driven meticulously into your eye.

“Why so? Is it that cruel?”

“Cruel?” I smirked, “love is beyond cruel, it’s hatred with the absence of anger; hatred with affection, that’s what it is. What is love in this menagerie of existence, we’re living in a fucking carnival; the zoo of delusional animals roaming freely in captivity. Love is natural selection put into action.”

That was just an extract of the current story I’m writing, based on my 3 year relationship with Joy. It’s called “Accident”, do email me if you want any of my stories.

Till then, good riddance to you, undesired reader ;)

P.S: My poor Scarlett broke her leg, she might have to amputate it during her next molt. Can you imagine?- A spider with 7 legs!

Orgasmic Diplacusis

This here is the void of existence where, on the edge, I created my reality. I live on the edge for the captivity of escapism.

This here is my religion; no obligations to life or divine beings, neither morals nor values.

This here is my blog, I rant and rant and rant and rant and rant and rant. That’s all I can do, I’m sorry for not displeasuring you all further by posting videos or pictures of my nude self, though some of you might like it.

I do hope, that through my posts and my writing, you have been captivated in a way or another. That you have learnt and thought about a thing or two.

Go,go forth and animate my writing.

All my sick short stories which I haven’t posted in quite a while.

But for now, I just want to contemplate my living, I can’t live like this forever. But I sure as hell will write and think like this forever.

So, esteemed reader, you and I, are really on different pages of reality. But through sickness, hunger, poison and wrath, we still are in the same void of existence.

Just for me, no objective morality, no intrinsic value.

Fin.

Aborted

These few months, I’ve been changing and changing, but isn’t change a substance in life? All this, it’s just fucking material living, sometimes, despite my taste and pleasure for torture and brutality, I can never stand violence.

I learnt just that recently, I’ve always hated fighting, I mean yeah, it is enjoyable, but come to think of it, violence isn’t anarchy.

Violence is just a little form of power we abuse to humiliate and overthrow others.

Brutality and torture to me are different; it just is. Because, I think, it’s not to gain more power, it’s just to eliminate.

And dear God, if you do even exist, I’m saying this loud and clear: I see no obligation to worship you.

But to me, we are the true gods; we create things beyond reality and set them to our parallel affiliates.

Joy Molina and I spent approximately 1095 days together as a couple, not counting the times we took breaks from our relationships.

I’ve decided to let her go; persistence is only pestilence.

She’s with this new guy now, I hope she’s happy. Yes people, I do feel fucking sad, but truly, what am I if I choose to aimlessly drag myself at love. Romance is just my little way of avoiding practical society, kisses are words said beyond being said and sex is either material of essential.

Who gives a fuck about sex nowadays, you just get passionate or whatever you’re into, orgasm, and it’s over, the credits roll, you leave the cinema, the ending theme song never seems to come on with impact.

But what about me? What do I want?

There are many possibilities, there may not even be a future.

People say we live in a cynical world, I don’t just beg to differ, I’ll prostitute myself for it.

Society is cynical. The world, unfortunately has to move in syncretism.

I’m 16, with a vision in life where only I can understand, because making people understand these days, it’s pointless.

So tell me, the natural of dwelling; something intrinsic and subterranean?

I’m depressed, schizophrenic, insomniatic, delirious, skeptical, nihilistic, and anarchical.

Anthropophobic, mnemophobic, philophobic, panophobic.

Sometimes, dreams are useless, but they guide us. Not many people will always get what they want; just look at me, I wanted to marry a girl and raise children with her, but she’s gone a long way with another guy now.

I’ve always wondered how my dad felt when my mom wanted to leave him for another guy while he was having cancer, I somehow know how that feels like.

No, I don’t feel sad, but just nostalgic about everything.

She told me she left me because she wanted to be free and single, but I guess some people hate to be honest.

I’m not angry either, just well, rather pissed, ignivomous and just fucking confused about what I should feel.

Delirium isn’t the right word, but it’s the first word that comes to mind.

So here I am, at the edge of my reality, screaming out what seems to be the most important moment of my current existence.

Fuck society!

Fuck money!

Fuck all.

No seriously, why does everything have to be so cynic.Clinically, I am a contagion of no intrinsic suffering and pain.

And as of now, I don’t know what I’m talking about. So farewell for now, esteemed reader.