Stumble

I run amok, panicked, eyes shooting here and there trying my best to focus, but it all fails. I’m left with nothing but desperation, like an aimless gust of wind, collecting everything but keeping nothing.

And I scream: where is god?!

Is he a subjective-relative algorithm that can be compressed into a finite explanation such as the Christian Trinity, the anatomy of atoms. The will of god is then also the reason of the mysterious, unexplainable and incomprehensible; are these then considered divine and credited to this unknown celestial we, since our directive primitive civilisations, come to explain as god.

A religious man can tell you a million and one things and relate them to god, what he can also tell you is the supportive sequential events and objects involved and its depictive meanings which is entirely based on his religious point of view, but what he cannot tell you is why, he cannot explain. He can go on and on on how his god died for him on the cross, but what he does not admit is the fact that he had said his god has died. Then comes the reason of “he rose again on the third day of his death”, I’d go: “sure, I’d give you that, but what about the other 3 days he was dead?”

Risen, but never to be seen again for many distant centuries.

So about the 3 days, what was the world then; if this god had created and arranged everything then he’d be the main source of power, and if he died, then what became of the rest of the expanding, infinite, observable universe we long to venture and much as we have for the sea.

But I don’t care about god. Don’t care about the afterlife, don’t care about death much, not so much about life too, though it is very nice to create a majestic monument out of the most very simple things.

If you broke everything down and carefully put it under the microscope, then we’d just see a bunch of atoms or fathoms that trace back to its historical meaninglessness.

So there isn’t much to live for, really. So I’ll keep learning until I really sort my mess out.