Pandemic of idols.

It had occured to me today that sitting by old people for 2 hours, you learn a lot about old school gossip, two-facing, sex and deciet.

It's stupendous really, but what had occured to me is that, some old people are some tough nut crooks and bastards.

Such as this one chinese guy who pays the Filippino maids to please him; he told me that by rubbing your moustache against a vagina, the girls love the sensation.

I was fucking stupified!

Talking to old people about sex gives you an insight of such twisted Karma Sutra.

Don't get me wrog, this is real.

Sexaholics would think of every bloody way to have sex, no matter how old; you get the guys who like smaller sized or perhaps little girls because they want to make their tiny dicks feel big. Or perhaps they're just fucking pedophiles.

You get the weird old guys who go for young boys to give them a blowjob.

The sick old men who stuff their dicks into any hole they can find, be it dead, living or just your everyday items, like a vaccum cleaner.

Then you have girls; nymphos, sluts, addicts.

Get those girls who can't live without something stuck up their vagina; which probably looks like the most ugly, disgusting monstrosity that Taco Bell ever produced.

All are the same, sexaholics are just the same as any addict. One's cocaine is another's penis. Or maybe one's vagina is another's Meth.

Everyone wants to be that mythological urban legend who did crazy sexual acts or what have you.

Everyone wants to leave their mark on something.

Chuck Palahniuk wrote in 'Choke': Even the worst blowjob is better than watching the fucking sun set.

I couldn't agree more. Face it, we are animals, deep within humanity, sanity, morality, there is a beast in us all. We're all potential psychpopaths, rapists, freaks; we are a disturbed society, some of us may not know it yet.

We're all in this together, planet sin forever.

So the back to the other stories i heard.

This other guy, also a chinese, tried to give me some pills, "these are special," he gleamed, but wait he actually said, "this one is special one! When you fuck ahhh, got power!"

Some of you may not understand what that sentence meant, but i think he was trying to give me viagra, but wait, I don't have erectile dysfunction, nor do I need boosting in my sex life. And I certainly don't want to end up dead while mounting on my partner's body with my dick cumming in a cold, dead, possibly a disgusting, discoloured, watery, even more smelly orgasm.

For a moment I was fascinated by these 'pills', curious as any other 16 year old boy would be, but I've still got a long way to go before my balls hang loose off the gallows.

Wait there's more!

So my whole purpose today was actually to get some food when I just sat there to talk to a nice, yet pathetic, homeless, real-life-version-of-an-Indian-Popeye.

Honestly, his name's Antonio and he looks and speaks exactly like Popeye the sailor man.

We began on a topic on how to get an amazing 'big-bang'. God, I must be having the time of my life talking to old men within 2 hours just about Aphrodite itself.

So well, he told me to get an awesome orgasm, you have to eat right and stay fit.

What, all of a sudden ejeculating semen has become an Olympic event?

Maybe the criteria to earn a gold is given to those with either the fastest, thickest furthest or most-abundant.

Ok Popeye, just protect your wife from Bluto now...and keep on eating spinach!

About the gossip, deciet thing; these old men sit together all day long laughing, drinking, gambling and talking to each other all day long, they don't like the guts out of each other!

That has got to be the most ridiculous thing ever.

Whenever these old men or maybe the seperate group of old ladies gather, the bustling mob becomes parliament!

The way these guys express things are as if they are running for presidential/parliamentry positions.

When talking about the concerns of the nation, these people are number one, when it comes to solving everyday problems, such as whether or not to use the shampoo first then conditioner or the opposite, they can talk for hours and hours and hours.

It's like watching comedy, they are so cute and annoying.

I have so many stories about them, such as this one mute guy who feeds strays and then cages them at night and hides them under blankets... looks like it's time to call in AVA (Agricultural Vetinary Association or something like that) in.

We have, whom I call, the Stupendous-Man, the non-fictional, non-comicbook antihero, who acts as if he's the owner of the estate and is a self-appointed neighbourhood watchmen, Jesus Christ, we already have police cars patrolling the area and you don't have to call the police because a kid was screaming in a game of tag or catching which gave you an 'impression' of a rape. Well at least someone cares.

So this is my estate, perhaps the smallest HDB estate in singapore, Farrer Road, with only 7 HDB blocks and the rest belonging to condos or landed property, next to the city.

This is the end of the post. goodbye reader, Marc Kvnt Ashley.