J&M

I guess people come to a point in life they're not bothered by the things that effected a segment in their life, be it their youth, adolescence, whatsoever.

Persuasion lives here no longer, and i guess, for this case, so does love. I don't know why, all the time, I speak of freedom, I'm trying to tie myself down to such a commitment. Each time I hear your voice these days, it seems like I've become a burden to you.

There are so many words I want to use here, but none of them holds any meaning anymore, I guess that my message to you is beyond what I could write and what I could say, perhaps, beyond what I could think of.

I don't know what anything means anymore, I don't want this, nor do I want that.

I feel so stupid and aimless trying to fight for you now, you've lost so much hope in me, I'm guessing I feel limp myself. Let me admit this, I attempt autoerotic asphyxia each day, I just want to die in ejaculation so that maybe I can evade this entire menagerie and gain liberation from all my depressants.

I just hate feeling so fucking depressed, ok. I hate fucking depression, I hate fucking insomnia, I hate fucking schizophrenia, I hate being alienated, I hate thinking different, I hate being nihilistic, I hate being able to reason things clearly, I hate being un-sheepish, I hate hating things. I don't hate life, I'm not fucking emo, even though I seem like it. I hate fucking living, that's all.

I hate going through everyday and getting pissed at everything, at myself, at the world, at people, at friends, at family. But I guess, as a human being, I deserve to be pissed. But I don't care.

I don't care, but i just fucking do.

Yes, people, I'm a confused teenager drowned in angst.

But back to the point, ah who cares what the point is anymore.